Host Club Disaster
by Loving New Dawn
Summary: Things are as hectic as normal in the Host Club. But some new people are arriving in Ouran Academy. They're gonna turn Ouran Academy upside down. It is gonna be a disaster zone! My first crossover. R&R


**Hey Readers! This is my first Crossover! Hope you enjoy it! I did not make this by myself it is a collaboration with Princess De La Luna.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran Host Club or Vocaloid. (I only own it in my dreams.)**

**R & R!**

**Host Club Disaster**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 ~ Beware of the physical exam!<strong>

**Tamaki POV**

'Only those with excellent social standing or those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school Ouran Academy. The Ouran Host Club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran Academy's elegant playground for the super-rich and beautiful.'

**Narrator POV**

It was club time. A kite was flying gently above some cherry blossom trees. All was…calm. Heading out to the courtyard were giant doors. They opened to a swirl of rose petals. Then a group of hot guys were there. 'Welcome!' They said in sync.

'In which cup would my princess like her tea? The Foley? The Worcester? Or perhaps the Susie Cooper Gardenia?'

'Beautiful. These are English antiques right? Which would do you like Tamaki?'

'Which one? None compared to my princess.'

'Oh wow.'

Tamaki Suoh

High School 2nd Year

Host Club King

The "Prince" type.

The twins were serving tea to their guests. Kaoru was shaking. CRASH! 'Ah!'

'Kaoru!' Swiftly placing the Kaoru's burning finger in his mouth to stop the burning. The girls started squealing! 'Honestly Kaoru, You need to be more careful! From now on, keep your eyes on me.'

Hikaru Hitachiin

High School 1st Year

'Yes, Hikaru.'

Kaoru Hitachiin

High School 1st Year

Together they make the "Little Devil" Type.

'Oh. It's too beautiful! I can't watch!'

'Don't look away! This could be a once in a lifetime! You might not see it again!'

'You are absolutely right mademoiselle.' Came a silky, cool voice. 'All beauty is beautiful. Like these cherry blossoms you may not see them this vibrant again.'

Kyoya Otori

High School 2nd Year

Vice President

The "Cool" type.

That's why I've composed these picture albums of moments that may not happen again!' (Businessman mode.) 'As is so happens, I've created some of the other hosts. Buy all 4 and I'll give you a discount!' (Did not make one of himself.)

'I'll take them all!'

'Me too!'

'Well, now we know how the club makes extra money,' the twins said in sync.

'But I have to wonder-' Hikaru started

'When did he take pictures of us?' Kaoru finished.

The twins, now forgotten by their guests. Go looking for Haruhi.

**Haruhi's POV**

Haruhi Fujioka (Actually a girl)

High School 1st year (honour student)

The "natural" type

'_Should I tell him?'_

Mitsukuni Honinozuka "Honey"

High School 3rd year

The "Boila-Lita" Type

Honey was swishing around a brush, stirring special tea.

Takashi Morinozuka "Mori"

High School 3rd year

The "Silent" Type

'Mitsukuni, you over did it.' Honey's eyes widened.

'_He told him!'_

Honey put his thumb in his mouth and looked down.

'Don't worry Honey! I'll drink it!' Honey client 1 said.

'Yeah! It's the right amount for both of us! Any more would be too much! You never cease to amaze me!' Honey Client 2 said.

Honey took his thumb out of his mouth. Looked up and smiled. 'Really?'

'_These girls…' _'Excuse me ladies.' Haruhi got up and walked away towards a small area in where the Cherry Blossom trees are, the clients aren't allowed to go there. 'Sigh.' The kite was still flying at a normal height above the Cherry Blossom trees.

'Haruhi, how are you doing? Are you having a good time?' Came a sweet voice from behind Haruhi.

'Tamaki-senpai.'

'The flower-viewing reception is going quite well. But, it seems a pity we're being admired rather than doing the admiring.' Tamaki grabbed a twig with cherry blossoms on it.

'Wow senpai. You're blooming in more ways than one.'

Tamaki through the branch away and pointed at Haruhi, 'you noticed!' Tamaki posed 'yes today I'm feeling quite brilliant!' Tamaki pointed at Haruhi again. 'I bet you'll fall for me soon!'

'_I swear this guy must be living completely unaware of the hardships of this world!'_

The kite sinks.

'Hey Haruhi!' Two hands landed on Haruhi's shoulders. Haruhi looked up and saw two mischievous looking faces. Hikaru and Kaoru found her.

'So have you chosen what electives you're going to choose for next semester?' Hikaru asked

'How about we take conversational French?' Kaoru asked.

'After all it's perfectly normal to take the same thing. After all we are in the same class.' The twins said in sync while smirking at Tamaki.

Tamaki goes into depression corner. 'Hey, mummy dear?' (Mummy = Kyoya)

'What is it now, Daddy?' (Daddy = Tamaki) Wait…did he just go along with it?

'I have a theory, well it's just my hypothesis, but it seems, being in the same class as Haruhi, the twins get to have more time with Haruhi!'

'Tamaki, don't tell me you just realised that.' Tamaki gets hit by lightning bolt.

'_Where'd that lightning bolt come from?'_

'According to my research,' Kyoya points at pie charts on a white board that came out of nowhere. 'The twins spend at least 9 hours of class time with Haruhi. Meanwhile your time with Haruhi is limited to a couple hours of club time. A.K.A your involvement in Haruhi's life is a mere 3%.'

'NO! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! Haruhi! You must stop hanging out with those shady twins! It's not good!'

'Hey boss! Who're you calling shady? Look at yourself!'

'Yes. That's it! Haruhi you must start dressing as a girl! All Daddy wants is you to be happy and live a wholesome life! Do it! Change back! Change back now!'

'You don't have to rush things, she's gonna be found out soon enough-' Hikaru starts

'Physical exams are the day after tomorrow.' Kaoru finished.

'Physical…exams?'

Suddenly everyone's there with shocked looks on their faces.

'Yeah, that's right, I forgot all about it.' OMG! Kyoya forgot something!

'Then, that means, there's no doubt about it, they're gonna find out, that, I'm a girl.' Haruhi looks calm.

Shocked look again. Cue Lightning bolt. '_Seriously? Where do these lightning bolts keep coming from?'_

THE NEXT DAY

**Narrator POV**

Tamaki's daydreaming…what's new? In Tamaki's day dream:

_Murmur Murmur_

'_Haruhi dear! Sorry! Been waiting long?' Tamaki puts on the charm. 'What's wrong? You look a little down?'_

'_It's just, everyone's starring at me.' (Haruhi is dressed as girl.)_

_Tamaki puts a hand around Haruhi's waist and pulls her close and puts his other hand on her check forcing her to look up at him. And somehow they're gliding, with red roses as a background…meh, just go along with it. 'Their staring at you because you're beautiful.'_

'_Oh Tamaki, I'm in love love with you!' Tamaki spins Haruhi._

'_Oh you!'_

Back in reality:

Tamaki has his head resting on the palm of his hand which his elbow is leaning on his leg and his leg is resting on his other leg and he's sitting down in a chair. With a goofy smile on his face.

'Wow. Tama-chan must be having a great day dream!' Honey comments.

'Yeah, he's kina creeping me out.' Hikaru says staring at Tamaki. Who, by the way, is still day dreaming.

'Envious Hikaru?' Tamaki snaps out of it. 'I finally see that point of this charade. This is obviously a romantic school comedy, Haruhi and I are the main characters and that means we're love interests!'

'Yeah, then what are we?' The twins ask in sync.

'You boys,' Tamaki says pointing at the rest of the hosts. 'Are the homo-sexual supporting cast!' Tamaki gets a stick out of nowhere and somehow marks a line in the tiles. 'So don't cross this line.'

'Hey boss-'

'I don't think you get it.'

'If word gets out that Haru-chan's a girl, then she won't be able to stay in the host club!'

'Gulp!' Tamaki goes pale.

'But, if Haru chan starts dressing as a girl, I bet she'll be even cuter that she is now!' Honey comments making Tamaki go even paler.

'She dressed as a girl in middle school, right? She must have been popular with the boys.' Hikaru states. Tamaki is starting to look like a ghost.

'Yeah, according to my research, someone would confess their undying love to her at least once a month.' Kyoya comments, reading from his notebook. Tamaki is a ghost.

'Oh. So the boss wouldn't even be able to get close to her,' Kaoru says looking mischievously over at Hikaru.

Hikaru grins. 'But we'd be able to because we're in class all day.'

'NO WAY!'

On cue, Haruhi walks into the clubroom. 'Sorry I'm late!'

'Haruhi! Don't go! We'll keep your secret! So please stay our beloved secret princess!'

'…sure.' Haruhi doesn't get the situation. So, she starts thinking about it.

'Yeah, I guess we'd both be pretty peeved if we had to watch the all the guys flirt with her.'

'True.'

Suddenly Tamaki pulls a white board out of nowhere with…um,

Sign: Operation: Conceal Haruhi's gender! A.K.A Operation: I swear Haruhi-chan is a boy! Is underway!

'Alright men. Tomorrow stay in formation A and wait for further orders!'

'Yes sir!'

Haruhi now understands the situation. 'I get it! You guys are worried that if they find out I'm a girl. I can't be a host and therefore can't repay my debt!' WRONG! 'Hmm, my balance is 5, 333, 332 yen. (5 million 3 hundred and 33 thousand 3 hundred and 32 yen.) Hm. Guess I'll have to find another way to pay you back. Ha ha ha ha.'

'Boss! Do something! The subject in question doesn't seem to have any motivation!' The twins complain in unison.

'Rrr why did we have to get stuck with such a difficult heroine. Are you saying that you hate being a host? That you hate this club?'

'To be honest with you I'd have to say yes.' Tamaki goes into depression corner. 'Well if they find out I'm a girl there's nothing I can do.'

'Fancy Tuna.' Mori says. Haruhi is now listening.

'Oh. That's right! You didn't get to eat any at last week's party. Did you?'

'Did you hear that? She hasn't eaten Fancy Tuna before!' Hikaru teases.

'What? Talk about a difficult childhood.' Kaoru adds.

'What are you talking about? Just because I'm poor and haven't tried it before doesn't mean I'm so much of a glutton to go on fooling everybody just so I can try some Fancy Tuna.' Host Club smirks. '…Am I really gonna get to try it?'

'Yay!' They won her over.

While no one was looking Kyoya left the clubroom and pulled out his cellphone. [Bring Bring, Bring Bring…click, 'Hello? Meiko speaking.']

'Meiko? It's Kyoya.'

['Kyoya! You never call me when you're at school! Hiccup, I'm so happy!']

'Have you been drinking *sake again?' (*sake = Japanese rice wine.)

['Only a little. Anyway why are you calling?']

'Well, there's a little problem in the host club. We have someone in debt to us for breaking a renascence vase-'

['OH! You mean the ones worth 8 million yen?']

'Yes. And don't interrupt me!'

['Sorry.']

'Anyway, she is a girl, but the only way the only way to pay back her debt is to be a host, so she is pretending to be a he. Physical Exams are tomorrow, so we're in danger, I need you to come in and do her examinations in a different room so she gets the exam and we're in the clear. Okay?'

['Do the examination. Hmm, okay, but what do I get?']

'I'll buy a crate of your favourite sake.'

['Okay!']

'But remember you must keep Haruhi's gender a secret!'

['Sure thing Kyoya. See you soon! Love you.']

'Cough, love you too, cough, bye.'

**Meiko's POV**

'Wait, Haruhi? Why does that sound familiar? Haruhi, Haruhi, oh yeah! Haruhi Fujioka! Could it be?'

THE NEXT DAY! – THE DAY OF THE DREADED PHYSICAL EXAM

The kite still flying normally in the air. (Is no one going to take it down?)

**Haruhi's POV**

['It is time for First Year physical examinations. Would all students report to the examination room in their respective school building.']

'So what's that Formation A thing you guy's what talking about yesterday? Just what do they do during Physical Exams at Ouran?' Haruhi asked the Twins, she was worried.

'Same as any normal school.' Hikaru replied.

'Why would it be different for us just because we're rich?' Kaoru asked pretending to be offended.

'Ha, your right.'

Haruhi opens the examination room doors revealing a flash of light then a red carpet with a row of nurses on one side and a row of doctors on the other. 'Welcome students!'

'What! What's this?' Haruhi asked.

'Physical Exams.' Hikaru stated.

'The usual.' Kaoru added.

'The usual?' Haruhi asked confused.

'Hi, Hitachiin brothers, please follow us to get your chest measurements.'

'Sure.' The twins walk away. Leaving Haruhi alone and confused. A nurse walks up to Haruhi.

'Hi Mr. Fujioka. I'm your nurse for today. If you'll please just follow me.'

'Uh, okay.' When following the nurse, something catches Haruhi's eye. She stops, and looks close. Some familiar, obvious looking doctors…'Honey-senpai? Mori-senpai?'

'Shh!'

'They're so obvious.'

'I brought those two for back-up, in case something goes wrong.'

'Oh, Kyoya-senpai. But why are they in doctor disguises?'

'It makes it feel like we're on a real undercover mission.'

'Wow Miss. Uraname!' _'Hm, what's going on?'_ 'You've lost 2 whole kilograms since last year!'

'Really! I thought for sure I was heavier!'

'Not at all! Keep this up and you'll be even healthier next year!

'Is it just me, or are these doctor's too chipper?'

'Hm, well of course, this may be a school but it's still a business, most of the students have their own private family doctors at home. So they want to keep them happy.'

'_These damn rich people…'_

(Bump) 'Oh I'm sorry'

'That's fine'

Person runs off.

'Huh.' Kyoya is now curious.

'Hitachiin brothers. We're ready to take your chest measurements. You can go behind this curtain to disrobe.'

'We're not shy-'

'Who needs a curtain?'

The Hitachiin's pull off the shirts making the host club fan girls in the room go crazy! _'What's wrong with the girls at this school?'_

'No Kaoru! I won't allow the doctors to touch you!'

'What do you mean? When we play doctors at home, I can't get you to stop tickling and toying with my body.'

While the fan girls are going crazy and distracted with the twins, 'In here Haru-chan!' Honey and Mori push Haruhi in to one of the rooms, when a curtain is blocking sight of everything.

'Ah!'

Catch! 'I've been waiting for you my princess.'

'Huh? Tamaki-senpai?' Pout.

'Aw! You're so cute when you're surprised!'

'Mr. Fujioka? It's time for your chest measurements. Once you're finished disrobing will you please come with me?' The nurse asked from outside the room.

'The inevitable moment has arrived.' Tamaki heads for the curtain where the nurse was waiting at the other side.

'Tamaki-senpai?'

'Don't worry Haruhi, I'll protect you,' Tamaki places something on his head.

'Mr. Fujioka? Are you ready now?'

'Yes!' Tamaki pulls back the curtain. 'I am Haruhi Fujioka.' Tamaki had a brown wig on his head, and his shirt unbuttoned.

'That's Tamaki.' Fan Girl 1.

'There's no mistaking it. That's definitely Tamaki.' Fan Girl 2.

'Is he cosplaying as Haruhi? Is he trying to be funny?' Fan Girl 3.

'…' – Haruhi

'HA HA HA! I can't believe he actually went through with it!' Hikaru laughed.

'Yeah! I told you they'd see through it! That was priceless!' Kaoru laughed.

'What?' Tamaki started strangling Hikaru. 'You jerks! You said there'd be no way they could tell it was me!'

'It's payback for calling us the homo-sexual supporting cast!' Hikaru shoots back, still smiling and being strangled.

'I'm sorry Haruhi. They figured it out.' Haruhi glares. 'EEK!' The kite sinks.

'Sigh.'

'Haruhi? I've prepared a room for you next door. A special boys clinic. Take your examinations there.'

'Okay.'

'Hey! Check it out! Tamaki's eroding away!' A fan girl smiles. (Eroding = disappearing into dust.)

'Haruhi is…angry with me.'

Haruhi knocks on the special boy clinic room door, ' come in!'

Haruhi opens the door and notices a young female doctor with short brown hair up to her shoulders sitting at desk. 'Um…Haruhi was it? I've been made aware of your situation.' The Young female doctor seemed very familiar Haruhi, she felt close to her for some reason. 'Excuse me for asking but is your name Haruhi fujioka?'

'Yes.' The young female doctor smiled at her.

'It's been a long time Haruhi how have you been?'

'Meiko?' The doctor nods. Haruhi smiles and both of them run to each other and hug one another.

'We'll catch up on old times later. Undress in that room.' Meiko points to a door. 'I'll be back in a minute.' Meiko leaves the room.

'Yes.' In the middle undressing Haruhi heard the door open _'Meiko must be back.'_ A strange man enters the dressing room where Haruhi topless. He saw Haruhi and puts his hand on her face.

'It's not what you think please keep quiet.'

**Outside the room**

'Why didn't you tell us sooner that you had a room organised for Haruhi?' The twins complained to Kyoya.

'Well I needed my revenge too. I'm sorry I don't think I'm supporting cast, homo-sexual or otherwise.'

'Waa! I've never been so terrified!' One of the girls was crying. A nurse trying to comfort her as a doctor tried to talk to her.

'Tell us ma'am, what happened?'

'I was heading to one of the examination rooms when one of the doctors put his hand on my shoulder! He was trying to make a pass at me! I was so terrified!'

'Please ma'am, can you tell us where this pervert doctor was heading?'

'Yes. He ran off toward the Special Boys Clinic.'

'HARUHI!' The host club yelled!

**Back in the Special Boys Clinic**

'It's not what you think please keep quiet.

'TAMA-CHAN KICK!' wack! The man face planted into the wall cracking it.

'One, good looks that attract the public eye.' The Hitachiins appear.

'Two, more wealth than you could imagine.' Kyoya appears out of the shadows.

'Three, chivalry that can never overlook' Mori appears.

'The hideous wickedness of this world!' Honey appears, glaring.

Tamaki covers Haruhi up with his shirt. 'That's what makes up the Ouran Host Club!'

'The Ouran Host Club will see you now!' Everyone shouts. Posing. And all with glares.

'Please I mean no harm! Spare me my life!' The man pleads.

**Outside the room**

Bang! 'What's all that ruckus?' Meiko realises it's coming from where Haruhi is! 'HARUHI!' She runs into the room. To find the whole Host Club standing there. Haruhi covered up by Tamaki's shirt. And someone on the floor begging. 'Uncle?'

'Meiko? SAVE ME!' The man on the floor begged.

'Meiko, do you know who this man is?' Kyoya asks.

'Yeah. That's my uncle. Dr. Yabu. Wait. What are you doing here?' Meiko demands her uncle.

'I can't find my daughter. I looked everywhere!'

Ignoring everyone else. Meiko walks up to her uncle and helps him stand up. 'Uncle, your daughter isn't here. She's at Ouran Public High School. This is Ouran Academy, a private institution.' Meiko sighs and puts her hand on her head. 'Didn't you follow the map I made you?'

'I kinda…lost…the map.' Dr. Yabu looks down.

'Come on, I'll make you a new map. After that, leave, and don't cause any more trouble!'

**10 mins later**

'Thank you! Sorry for causing trouble and scaring you.' Then he walks away searching for Ouran public high school where his daughter was at.

Meiko smiles 'good luck! Now then, you boys leave the so I can finish Haruhi's physical examination.' Everyone leaves the room.

**½ an hour later**

'Thanks Meiko! Call me so we can catch up sometime!'

'Sure! Bye.'

Haruhi left the room. 'So, you guys waited here for me.' The entire Host Club was standing outside.

'Um, yeah, in case anything else happens.'

'Oh! Tamaki-senpai, here's your shirt back and thanks! It was awkward when you guys came in and I was like that. So thanks.' Haruhi blushes and looks away.

'Uh, sure.' Tamaki blushes, looks away and takes the shirt. 'A lady shouldn't show that much skin until after she's married. Especially in a room full of boys.'

Haruhi smiled. The kite went all the way up, so high you couldn't see it.

'Just so you guys know, I didn't do the examination in a separate room just because your bribing me with food. I'm doing it to pay back my debt!'

Tamaki couldn't stand it. He gave her a big hug! 'You're just kidding! I can tell you're just after that Fancy Tuna!'

'Oi get off! Hey don't touch me there!'

'Red Card!' The twins yelled in sync

'Looks like boss-'

'Is the real pervert!'

'Who cares! Will you guys just leave me alone!

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><p><strong>AN: And that's chapter one! So what did ja guys think? The only Vocaloid in this chapter was Meiko! But don't worry! There'll be more! Just you wait!**

**Don't forget to review!**

**Loving New Dawn.**


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